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只要两分钟你就能改变:用肢体语言重塑自己(双语视频)(转载)  

2013-04-12 08:56:52|  分类: 励志成功 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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以下原文转载自沪江英语:英语学习门户


So I want to start by offering you a free no-tech life hack, and all it requires of you is this: that you change your posture for two minutes. But before I give it away, I want to ask you to right now do a little audit of your body and what you're doing with your body. So how many of you are sort of making yourselves smaller? Maybe you're hunching, crossing your legs, maybe wrapping your ankles. Sometimes we hold onto our arms like this. Sometimes we spread out. I see you. So I want you to pay attention to what you're doing right now. We're going to come back to that in a few minutes, and I'm hoping that if you learn to tweak this a little bit, it could significantly change the way your life unfolds.首先我想要提供给你们一个免费的、非科技的人生窍门。你只需这样做:改变你的姿势两分钟。但在我要把它告诉你们之前,我想要请你们,就你们的身体和你们身体的行为做一下自我审查,那么你们之中有多少人正蜷缩着自己?或许你现在弓着背,还翘着二郎腿?或者双臂交叉,有时候我们像这样抱住自己,有时候展开双臂,我看到你了,现在请大家专心在自己的身上,我们等一下就会回溯刚刚的事,希望你们可以稍微改变一下,这会让你的生活变得很不一样。

So, we're really fascinated with body language, and we're particularly interested in other people's body language. You know, we're interested in, like, you know — an awkward interaction, or a smile, or a contemptuous glance, or maybe a very awkward wink, or maybe even something like a handshake.所以,我们真的很执着于肢体语言,特别是对别人的肢体语言感兴趣。你看,我们对尴尬的互动,或一个微笑,或轻蔑的一瞥,或奇怪的眨眼,甚至是握手之类的事情感兴趣。

Narrator: Here they are arriving at Number 10, and look at this lucky policeman gets to shake hands with the President of the United States. Oh, and here comes the Prime Minister of the — ? No. (Laughter) (Applause) (Laughter) (Applause)解说员:他们来到了唐宁街10号,看看这个,这位幸运的警员可以和美国总统握手。噢,还有,来自……的总理?不(笑声) (掌声) (笑声) (掌声)

Amy Cuddy: So a handshake, or the lack of a handshake, can have us talking for weeks and weeks and weeks. Even the BBC and The New York Times. So obviously when we think about nonverbal behavior, or body language -- but we call it nonverbals as social scientists -- it's language, so we think about communication. When we think about communication, we think about interactions. So what is your body language communicating to me? What's mine communicating to you?Amy Cuddy:所以一个握手,或没有握手,我们都可以大聊特聊一番。即使BBC和纽约时报也不例外。我们说到肢体行为或肢体语言时,我们将之归纳为社会科学,它就是一种语言,所以我们会想到沟通,当我们想到沟通,我们就想到互动,所以你现在的身体语言正在告诉我什么?我的身体又是在向你传达什么?

And there's a lot of reason to believe that this is a valid way to look at this. So social scientists have spent a lot of time looking at the effects of our body language, or other people's body language, on judgments. And we make sweeping judgments and inferences from body language. And those judgments can predict really meaningful life outcomes like who we hire or promote, who we ask out on a date. For example, Nalini Ambady, a researcher at Tufts University, shows that when people watch 30-second soundless clips of real physician-patient interactions, their judgments of the physician's niceness predict whether or not that physician will be sued. So it doesn't have to do so much with whether or not that physician was incompetent, but do we like that person and how they interacted? Even more dramatic, Alex Todorov at Princeton has shown us that judgments of political candidates' faces in just one second predict 70 percent of U.S. Senate and gubernatorial race outcomes, and even, let's go digital, emoticons used well in online negotiations can lead to you claim more value from that negotiation. If you use them poorly, bad idea. Right? So when we think of nonverbals, we think of how we judge others, how they judge us and what the outcomes are. We tend to forget, though, the other audience that's influenced by our nonverbals, and that's ourselves.有很多理由让我们相信这些是有效的。社会科学家花了很多时间,求证肢体语言的效果,或其它人的身体语言在判断方面的效应。而我们环视身体语言中的讯息做决定和推论,这些结论可以预测生活中很有意义的结果,像是我们雇用谁或给谁升职,邀请谁出去约会。举例而言,Tufts大学的研究员,Nalini Ambady表示,人们观赏一部医生和患者互动的30秒无声影片,他们对该医生的和善观感,可用来预测该复健师是否会被告上法庭,跟这个医生能否胜任工作没有太大关系,重点是我们喜不喜欢他,和他们是如何与人互动的? 进一步来说,普林斯顿的Alex Todorov表示,我们对政治人物脸部的喜好判断,大概可用来对美国参议院和美国州长的,竞选结果做70%的预测,甚至就网络上在线聊天时使用的表情符号,可以帮助你从交谈中得到更多信息。所以你千万别弄巧成拙,对吧?当我们提起肢体语言,我们就想到自己如何判断别人,别人如何判断我们以及后果会是什么,我们往往忘记这点,受到肢体动作所影响的那群观众,就是我们自己。

We are also influenced by our nonverbals, our thoughts and our feelings and our physiology. So what nonverbals am I talking about? I'm a social psychologist. I study prejudice, and I teach at a competitive business school, so it was inevitable that I would become interested in power dynamics. I became especially interested in nonverbal expressions of power and dominance.我们也往往受自己的肢体动作、想法、感觉和心理所影响,所以究竟我的非语言表达到底说的是什么?我是一位社会心理学家,我研究偏见。我在一所极具竞争力的商业学院上课,因此无可避免地对权力动力学感到着迷,特别是在非语言表达,对权力和支配的领域。

And what are nonverbal expressions of power and dominance? Well, this is what they are. So in the animal kingdom, they are about expanding. So you make yourself big, you stretch out, you take up space, you're basically opening up. It's about opening up. And this is true across the animal kingdom. It's not just limited to primates. And humans do the same thing. (Laughter) So they do this both when they have power sort of chronically, and also when they're feeling powerful in the moment. And this one is especially interesting because it really shows us how universal and old these expressions of power are. This expression, which is known as pride, Jessica Tracy has studied. She shows that people who are born with sight and people who are congenitally blind do this when they win at a physical competition. So when they cross the finish line and they've won, it doesn't matter if they've never seen anyone do it. They do this. So the arms up in the V, the chin is slightly lifted. What do we do when we feel powerless? We do exactly the opposite. We close up. We wrap ourselves up. We make ourselves small. We don't want to bump into the person next to us. So again, both animals and humans do the same thing. And this is what happens when you put together high and low power. So what we tend to do when it comes to power is that we complement the other's nonverbals. So if someone is being really powerful with us, we tend to make ourselves smaller. We don't mirror them. We do the opposite of them.权力和支配的非语言表达究竟是什么?嗯,让我细细道来。在动物王国里,它们和扩张有关。所以你尽可能得让自己变大,你向外伸展占满空间,基本上就是展开。关于展开,我说真的,透视动物世界,这不仅局限于灵长类,人类也干同样的事(笑声)。不论是他们长期掌权或是在某个时间点感到权力高涨,他们都这么做,特别有趣的原因是,它让我们明白权力的展现从来是如此地一致,不管古今世界。这种展现,被认为是一种荣耀。 Jessica Tracy研究表示,视力良好无碍和先天视障的人在赢得比赛时都做了同样的事。当他们跨过终点线赢得比赛之际,无论能否看的见,他们都做这样的动作,双臂呈V字型朝上,下巴微微抬起,那我们感到无助的时候呢?我们的行为正相反,我们封闭起来。我们把自己蜷起来,让自己变得小一点,最好别碰到别人。这再一次证明,人类和动物都做同样的事,这就是当你有力量和没力量时的行为,所以当力量来临时,我们会迎合别人的非语言表达,当别人的权势比我们大很多时,我们倾向把自己变得较小,不会模仿他们,我们做和他们正相反的事情。

So I'm watching this behavior in the classroom, and what do I notice? I notice that MBA students really exhibit the full range of power nonverbals. So you have people who are like caricatures of alphas, really coming into the room, they get right into the middle of the room before class even starts, like they really want to occupy space. When they sit down, they're sort of spread out. They raise their hands like this. You have other people who are virtually collapsing when they come in. As soon they come in, you see it. You see it on their faces and their bodies, and they sit in their chair and they make themselves tiny, and they go like this when they raise their hand. I notice a couple of things about this. One, you're not going to be surprised. It seems to be related to gender. So women are much more likely to do this kind of thing than men. Women feel chronically less powerful than men, so this is not surprising. But the other thing I noticed is that it also seemed to be related to the extent to which the students were participating, and how well they were participating. And this is really important in the MBA classroom, because participation counts for half the grade.当我在课堂上观察这种现象时,你猜我发现什么?我发现MBA的学生真的很会充分利用肢体语言,你会看到有些人像是统治者。走进房间,课程开始之前一屁股坐在正中间,好像他们真的很想占据整个教室似的,当他们坐下的时候,身体会展开,像这样举手。有些人则不然,他们一走进来你就会发现,从他们的脸和身体你会发现,他们坐在椅子上的时候把自己变得很萎靡,然后举手的时候是这种姿势。我观察到很多事情,其中一件,不令人惊讶,就是跟性别差异有关,女人比男人更容易出现这种状况,女人一般比较容易比男人感到无力,这并不太令人意外。然而我发现的另一件事是,这似乎也跟学生参与的程度高低有关,就MBA的课来说这真的非常重要。因为课堂参与程度要占成绩的一半。

So business schools have been struggling with this gender grade gap. You get these equally qualified women and men coming in and then you get these differences in grades, and it seems to be partly attributable to participation. So I started to wonder, you know, okay, so you have these people coming in like this, and they're participating. Is it possible that we could get people to fake it and would it lead them to participate more?所以商学院一直以来都为此伤脑筋,入学的时候男生女生都是一样优秀的,可是成绩出来却有这些性别差异,而看起来却有一部分原因和参与度有关。所以我开始思索,好吧,这群人一开始进来是这样,他们参与其中,那有没有可能让大家来假装,让他们更加参与进来?

So my main collaborator Dana Carney, who's at Berkeley, and I really wanted to know, can you fake it till you make it? Like, can you do this just for a little while and actually experience a behavioral outcome that makes you seem more powerful? So we know that our nonverbals govern how other people think and feel about us. There's a lot of evidence. But our question really was, do our nonverbals govern how we think and feel about ourselves?我在Berkeley的主要合作研究伙伴,Dana Carney。我很想知道,你能假装直到你成功吗?譬如说,只做一下下然后就体验到一个,让你感到更加充满力量的结果,所以得知非语言表达如何掌控他人对我们的想法和感受。有很多证据可以证明。但我们的问题是,我们非语言的部分是否真的掌控我们对自己的想法和感受?

There's some evidence that they do. So, for example, we smile when we feel happy, but also, when we're forced to smile by holding a pen in our teeth like this, it makes us feel happy. So it goes both ways. When it comes to power, it also goes both ways. So when you feel powerful, you're more likely to do this, but it's also possible that when you pretend to be powerful, you are more likely to actually feel powerful.这里确实有些证据可以表明。举例来说,当我们高兴的时候我们会笑,但同样地,当我们含着一只笔练习笑容的时候,我们也会感到开心。这说明这是相互的。说到力量的时候亦是如此。所以当我们感到充满力量的时候,你更加可能会这样做,但你也可能假装自己很有力量,然后真的感到力量强大。

So the second question really was, you know, so we know that our minds change our bodies, but is it also true that our bodies change our minds? And when I say minds, in the case of the powerful, what am I talking about? So I'm talking about thoughts and feelings and the sort of physiological things that make up our thoughts and feelings, and in my case, that's hormones. I look at hormones. So what do the minds of the powerful versus the powerless look like? So powerful people tend to be, not surprisingly, more assertive and more confident, more optimistic. They actually feel that they're going to win even at games of chance. They also tend to be able to think more abstractly. So there are a lot of differences. They take more risks. There are a lot of differences between powerful and powerless people. Physiologically, there also are differences on two key hormones: testosterone, which is the dominance hormone, and cortisol, which is the stress hormone. So what we find is that high-power alpha males in primate hierarchies have high testosterone and low cortisol, and powerful and effective leaders also have high testosterone and low cortisol. So what does that mean? When you think about power, people tended to think only about testosterone, because that was about dominance. But really, power is also about how you react to stress. So do you want the high-power leader that's dominant, high on testosterone, but really stress reactive? Probably not, right? You want the person who's powerful and assertive and dominant, but not very stress reactive, the person who's laid back.那第二个问题就是,你看,我们知道心理状态会影响我们的身体 那身体是否能影响心理呢?这里所说的心理充满力量究竟指的是什么?我指的是想法和感觉。和可以组成我们想法和感受的实际事物,我这里是指荷尔蒙。我指的是这个。充满力量和没有力量的心智是什么样的呢? 毫不令人意外,心理坚强的人往往比较果断,自信,且乐观,就连在赌注里也觉得他们会赢,他们也倾向于能够抽象地思考,所以这其中有很大区别。他们更敢于冒险。充满力量与否的心智二者存有许多不同,生理上两个关键的贺尔蒙,睾丸酮,是一种支配荷尔蒙;可的松,是一种压力荷尔蒙。我们发现灵长类的雄性首领有高浓度的睪丸酮和低浓度的可的松,相同情形也在强而有力的领导人身上可见。这表示什么?当你想到力量,人们往往只想到睪丸酮,因为它代表支配统治,但力量其实是在于你如何应对压力,所以你会想要一个有着很高浓度的睪丸酮但同时又高度紧张的领导吗?大概不会是吧?你会希望那个人是充满力量,肯定果断且知道如何支配,但不是非常紧张,或是懒洋洋的。

So we know that in primate hierarchies, if an alpha needs to take over, if an individual needs to take over an alpha role sort of suddenly, within a few days, that individual's testosterone has gone up significantly and his cortisol has dropped significantly. So we have this evidence, both that the body can shape the mind, at least at the facial level, and also that role changes can shape the mind. So what happens, okay, you take a role change, what happens if you do that at a really minimal level, like this tiny manipulation, this tiny intervention? "For two minutes," you say, "I want you to stand like this, and it's going to make you feel more powerful."灵长类动物的金字塔里,如果一个首领想要掌控这个种群,或取代原先的首领,几天之内,那一方体内的睪丸酮会大大地上升,而其可的松会剧烈地下降,身体影响心理之例,由此可见一斑。至少就表面而言是如此。同时角色的转换也会影响心智。所以,如果你改变角色,就一个小改变,像这样一个小小的操作,这样一个小小的干预?“持续两分钟”你说,“我要你们这样站着, 它会让你感到更加充满力量。”

So this is what we did. We decided to bring people into the lab and run a little experiment, and these people adopted, for two minutes, either high-power poses or low-power poses, and I'm just going to show you five of the poses, although they took on only two. So here's one. A couple more. This one has been dubbed the "Wonder Woman" by the media. Here are a couple more. So you can be standing or you can be sitting. And here are the low-power poses. So you're folding up, you're making yourself small. This one is very low-power. When you're touching your neck, you're really protecting yourself. So this is what happens. They come in, they spit into a vial, we for two minutes say, "You need to do this or this." They don't look at pictures of the poses. We don't want to prime them with a concept of power. We want them to be feeling power, right? So two minutes they do this. We then ask them, "How powerful do you feel?" on a series of items, and then we give them an opportunity to gamble, and then we take another saliva sample. That's it. That's the whole experiment.我们是这样做的。我们决定将人们带进实验室,做一个小实验。这些人将维持有力或无力的姿势两分钟,然后我就会告诉你。这五种姿势,虽然他们只做了两种,这是其一,看看这些,这个被媒体取名为 "神力女超人" 还有这些,或站或坐,这些是无力的姿势,你双手交叉,试着让自己变小一点,这是非常无力的一张,当你在摸你的脖子,你其实在保护自己。实际的状况是,他们进来取出唾液,维持一个姿势达两分钟,他们不会看到姿势的照片,因为我们不想要影响他们,我们希望他们自己感觉到力量不是吗?所以他们做了整整两分钟,我们关于一些事物问:“现在你觉得自己多有力量?”受试者接着会有一个博奕的机会,接着再取得唾液范本,这就是整个实验。

So this is what we find. Risk tolerance, which is the gambling, what we find is that when you're in the high-power pose condition, 86 percent of you will gamble. When you're in the low-power pose condition, only 60 percent, and that's a pretty whopping significant difference. Here's what we find on testosterone. From their baseline when they come in, high-power people experience about a 20-percent increase, and low-power people experience about a 10-percent decrease. So again, two minutes, and you get these changes. Here's what you get on cortisol. High-power people experience about a 25-percent decrease, and the low-power people experience about a 15-percent increase. So two minutes lead to these hormonal changes that configure your brain to basically be either assertive, confident and comfortable, or really stress-reactive, and, you know, feeling sort of shut down. And we've all had the feeling, right? So it seems that our nonverbals do govern how we think and feel about ourselves, so it's not just others, but it's also ourselves. Also, our bodies change our minds.我们发现到风险承担能力,也就是在赌博时,当处于强有力的姿势的时,86%的人会选择赌博,相对处于一个较无力的姿势时,只有60%的人,这真是很令人惊讶的差异。就睪丸酮而言我们发现,这些人进来的那一刻起,有力量的那些人会有20%的提高,无力的人则下降10%。所以,再次地,当你有这些改变,有力的人可的松下降25%, 而无力的人可的松则上升15%。两分钟可以让这些荷尔蒙改变使你的脑袋变得果断、自信和自在,或高度紧张以及感到与世隔绝,我们都曾有过这些体验对吗?看来非语言确实掌控我们对自己的想法和感受,不只是别人,更是我们自己。同时,我们的身体可以改变我们的心理。

But the next question, of course, is can power posing for a few minutes really change your life in meaningful ways? So this is in the lab. It's this little task, you know, it's just a couple of minutes. Where can you actually apply this? Which we cared about, of course. And so we think it's really, what matters, I mean, where you want to use this is evaluative situations like social threat situations. Where are you being evaluated, either by your friends? Like for teenagers it's at the lunchroom table. It could be, you know, for some people it's speaking at a school board meeting. It might be giving a pitch or giving a talk like this or doing a job interview. We decided that the one that most people could relate to because most people had been through was the job interview.但下一个问题,当然,就是维持数分钟的姿势,是否真能引导一个更有意义的人生呢?刚刚都只是在实验室里,一个小实验,你知道的只有几分钟。你要怎么实现这一切呢?落实在我们关心的地方呢?我们关心的其实是,我是说,你在那里可以用这些技巧去评估时势,像是社交威胁的情形。譬如说你被人打量时?或者是青少年吃午餐的时候,你知道,对有些人来说就好像在开学校的董事会。有时候是一个小演讲,有时是像这种讲演,或是工作面试时,我们后来决定用一个最多人能做比较的,因为大部分人都曾经面试工作过。

So we published these findings, and the media are all over it, and they say, Okay, so this is what you do when you go in for the job interview, right? (Laughter) You know, so we were of course horrified, and said, Oh my God, no, no, no, that's not what we meant at all. For numerous reasons, no, no, no, don't do that. Again, this is not about you talking to other people. It's you talking to yourself. What do you do before you go into a job interview? You do this. Right? You're sitting down. You're looking at your iPhone -- or your Android, not trying to leave anyone out. You are, you know, you're looking at your notes, you're hunching up, making yourself small, when really what you should be doing maybe is this, like, in the bathroom, right? Do that. Find two minutes. So that's what we want to test. Okay? So we bring people into a lab, and they do either high- or low-power poses again, they go through a very stressful job interview. It's five minutes long. They are being recorded. They're being judged also, and the judges are trained to give no nonverbal feedback, so they look like this. Like, imagine this is the person interviewing you. So for five minutes, nothing, and this is worse than being heckled. People hate this. It's what Marianne LaFrance calls "standing in social quicksand." So this really spikes your cortisol. So this is the job interview we put them through, because we really wanted to see what happened. We then have these coders look at these tapes, four of them. They're blind to the hypothesis. They're blind to the conditions. They have no idea who's been posing in what pose, and they end up looking at these sets of tapes, and they say, "Oh, we want to hire these people," -- all the high-power posers -- "we don't want to hire these people. We also evaluate these people much more positively overall." But what's driving it? It's not about the content of the speech. It's about the presence that they're bringing to the speech. We also, because we rate them on all these variables related to competence, like, how well-structured is the speech? How good is it? What are their qualifications? No effect on those things. This is what's affected. These kinds of things. People are bringing their true selves, basically. They're bringing themselves. They bring their ideas, but as themselves, with no, you know, residue over them. So this is what's driving the effect, or mediating the effect.我们将这些发现发表出来,接着媒体就大量曝光说,好,所以你去面试时,你得这样做,对吧?(笑声) 我们当然大吃一惊,表示我的天啊,不不不,我们不是这个意思。不管什么原因,不不,千万别这么做,这和你跟别人交谈无关,这是你在和你自己交谈,你在面试工作之前会怎么做?你会这样,对吧?你会做下来,你盯着自己的iphone或者安卓,转移自己的视线,你看着自己的笔记,你把自己蜷缩起来,试着让自己变得小一点,你真正需要做的应该是找个浴室,然后这样,花个两分钟,所以我们想做的是这个,把人带进实验室,他们再次保持有力或无力姿势,接着进行一个高度压力的面试,为时五分钟。所有都会被记录下来,同时也会被评论,而这些考官都接受过训练,不会给予任何非语言的反馈,所以他们看起来就像这样,像图上所示,想象一下,这个人正在面试你,整整五分钟,什么都没有,这比刁难诘问更难受,大家都不喜欢这种方式。这就是Marianne LaFrance所谓的 "陷入社交流沙中" 这可以大大激发你的可的松,我们给予受试者这样的面试,因为我们真的想看看会有什么样的结果,接着我们得出下列四种结果,受试者不知假设前提和状况下,没有人知道谁摆什么样的姿势,接着他们观看这些带子,然后他们说,“噢,我们想要录用这些人”——那些摆强有力姿势的人——“这些人我们不想录用”,我们也评量这群人整体而言更正面,但背后的原因是什么?这跟演讲的内容无关,而是他们在演讲中带出来的存在感,同时,我们也就这些关于能力的变动因素评价他们,像是演讲的整体架构怎样?它有多棒?演讲者的证照学历?这些全都无关。有影响的是这些事。基本上人们表达真实的自己,就他们自己,他们的想法,当他们心里没有芥蒂,这就是背后真实的力量,或者可以说是计划的结果。

So when I tell people about this, that our bodies change our minds and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes, they say to me, "I don't -- It feels fake." Right? So I said, fake it till you make it. I don't -- It's not me. I don't want to get there and then still feel like a fraud. I don't want to feel like an impostor. I don't want to get there only to feel like I'm not supposed to be here. And that really resonated with me, because I want to tell you a little story about being an impostor and feeling like I'm not supposed to be here.所以当我告诉人们,我们的身体会改变心理,心理会改变行为,而行为会改变结果,他们跟我说“我不这么觉得——听起来好像是假的”对吗?我就说,你就假装一直到你达成目的为止。不是我啦,我不想要到达到那个目标后仍然感觉像是一个骗局,我不想要成为一个骗子,我一点也不想达到那个目标才发觉我不应该如此,我真是有感而发的。这里跟大家分享一个小故事,关于成为一个骗子然后感到不应该在这里的故事。

When I was 19, I was in a really bad car accident. I was thrown out of a car, rolled several times. I was thrown from the car. And I woke up in a head injury rehab ward, and I had been withdrawn from college, and I learned that my I.Q. had dropped by two standard deviations, which was very traumatic. I knew my I.Q. because I had identified with being smart, and I had been called gifted as a child. So I'm taken out of college, I keep trying to go back. They say, "You're not going to finish college. Just, you know, there are other things for you to do, but that's not going to work out for you." So I really struggled with this, and I have to say, having your identity taken from you, your core identity, and for me it was being smart, having that taken from you, there's nothing that leaves you feeling more powerless than that. So I felt entirely powerless. I worked and worked and worked, and I got lucky, and worked, and got lucky, and worked.在我19岁的时候,发生了一场很严重的车祸。我整个人飞出车外,滚了好几翻,我是弹出车外的,之后在休息室醒来以后发现头部重伤,我从大学里休学,别人告知我智商下降了2个标准差,情况非常非常糟糕,我知道我的智商应该是多少,因为我以前被人家认为是很聪明的那种,小时候大家都觉得我很有才华。当我离开大学时,我试着回去,他们都告诉我说,“你没有办法毕业的。你知道,你还可以做很多其它的事啊,别往死胡同里钻了。”我死命挣扎,我必须承认,当你的认同感被剥夺的时候,那个主要的身分认同,就我而言是我的智力被夺走了,再没有比这个更加无助的时候了,我感到完全的无助,我拼命地疯狂地努力,幸运眷顾,努力,幸运眷顾,再努力。

Eventually I graduated from college. It took me four years longer than my peers, and I convinced someone, my angel advisor, Susan Fiske, to take me on, and so I ended up at Princeton, and I was like, I am not supposed to be here. I am an impostor. And the night before my first-year talk, and the first-year talk at Princeton is a 20-minute talk to 20 people. That's it. I was so afraid of being found out the next day that I called her and said, "I'm quitting." She was like, "You are not quitting, because I took a gamble on you, and you're staying. You're going to stay, and this is what you're going to do. You are going to fake it. You're going to do every talk that you ever get asked to do. You're just going to do it and do it and do it, even if you're terrified and just paralyzed and having an out-of-body experience, until you have this moment where you say, 'Oh my gosh, I'm doing it. Like, I have become this. I am actually doing this.'" So that's what I did. Five years in grad school, a few years, you know, I'm at Northwestern, I moved to Harvard, I'm at Harvard, I'm not really thinking about it anymore, but for a long time I had been thinking, "Not supposed to be here. Not supposed to be here."最终我从学校毕业了。我比同学多花了四年的时间,然后说服我的恩师,Susan Fiske让我进去,所以我最后进入了普林斯顿。我当时觉得,我不应该在这里,我是个骗子,在我第一年演讲的那个晚上,普林斯顿第一年的演讲,大约是对20个人做20分钟的演讲。就这样,我当时如此害怕隔天被拆穿,所以我打给她说,“我不干了。”她说:“你不可以不干,因为我赌在你身上了,你得留下。你会留下,你将会留下来了。你要骗过所有人。你被要求的每个演讲你都得照办。你得一直讲一直讲,即使你怕死了,脚瘫了,灵魂出窍了,直到你发现你在说,噢,我的天啊,我正在做这件事,我已经成为它的一部分了,我正在做它。”这就是说所做的,硕士的五年,这些年,我在Northwestern,我后来去了哈佛,我在哈佛,我没有在想到它,但之前有很长一段时间我都在想这件事“不应该在这。不应该在这。”

So at the end of my first year at Harvard, a student who had not talked in class the entire semester, who I had said, "Look, you've gotta participate or else you're going to fail," came into my office. I really didn't know her at all. And she said, she came in totally defeated, and she said, "I'm not supposed to be here." And that was the moment for me. Because two things happened. One was that I realized, oh my gosh, I don't feel like that anymore. You know. I don't feel that anymore, but she does, and I get that feeling. And the second was, she is supposed to be here! Like, she can fake it, she can become it. So I was like, "Yes, you are! You are supposed to be here! And tomorrow you're going to fake it, you're going to make yourself powerful, and, you know, you're gonna — " (Applause) (Applause) "And you're going to go into the classroom, and you are going to give the best comment ever." You know? And she gave the best comment ever, and people turned around and they were like, oh my God, I didn't even notice her sitting there, you know? (Laughter)所以哈佛第一年结束,我对整个学期在课堂上都没有说话的一个学生说:你得参与融入否则你不会过这一科的,来我的办公室吧。其实我压根就不认识她。她说:她很挫败地进来了,她说“我不应该在这里的。”就在此刻,两件事发生了,我突然明白,天啊,我再也没有这种感觉了。你知道吗。我再也不会有那种感觉,但她有,我能体会到她的感受。第二个想法是,她应该在这里!她可以假装,一直到她成功为止。所以我跟她说,“你当然应该!你应该在这里!”明天起你就假装,你要让自己充满力量,你要知道你将会——”(掌声) (掌声)“你要走进教室,你会发表最棒的评论。”你知道吗?她就真的发表了最成功的评论,大家都回过神来,他们就好像:喔我的天啊,我竟没有注意到她坐在那里,你知道吗?(笑声)

She comes back to me months later, and I realized that she had not just faked it till she made it, she had actually faked it till she became it. So she had changed. And so I want to say to you, don't fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it. You know? It's not — Do it enough until you actually become it and internalize.几个月后她来找我,我才明白,她不仅只是假装到她成功为止,她已经融会贯通了,整个人脱胎换骨。我想对大家说,不要仅为了成功而假装,要把它溶到你骨子里去。知道吗?持续地做直到它内化到你的骨髓里。

The last thing I'm going to leave you with is this. Tiny tweaks can lead to big changes. So this is two minutes. Two minutes, two minutes, two minutes. Before you go into the next stressful evaluative situation, for two minutes, try doing this, in the elevator, in a bathroom stall, at your desk behind closed doors. That's what you want to do. Configure your brain to cope the best in that situation. Get your testosterone up. Get your cortisol down. Don't leave that situation feeling like, oh, I didn't show them who I am. Leave that situation feeling like, oh, I really feel like I got to say who I am and show who I am.最后与大家分享的是,小小的调整可以有大大的改变。就两分钟,两分钟,两分钟,两分钟。在你进行下一场紧张的评估之前,拿出两分钟,尝试做这个,电梯里、浴室间,房门关起在你的桌子前面,你就这么做,设置你的脑袋,以发挥最大效益,提升你的睪丸铜,降低你的可的松,千万别留下“噢,我没把最好的表现出来”的那种遗憾,而是留下“噢,我真想让他们知道,让他们看见,我是个怎样的人”的印象。

So I want to ask you first, you know, both to try power posing, and also I want to ask you to share the science, because this is simple. I don't have ego involved in this. (Laughter) Give it away. Share it with people, because the people who can use it the most are the ones with no resources and no technology and no status and no power. Give it to them because they can do it in private. They need their bodies, privacy and two minutes, and it can significantly change the outcomes of their life. Thank you. (Applause) (Applause)在这里我想要求大家,你知道的,尝试这有力的姿势,同时也想请求各位把这项科学分享出去,因为它很简单,我可不是自尊心的问题喔(笑声)。放开它。和人分享,因为最经常可以使用它的人会是那些没有资源和技术的一群人,没有社会地位和权势。把这个传达给他们,好让他们可以私下这样做,他们会需要他们的身体、隐私和那两分钟,然后这会大大地改变他们生活的结果。谢谢(掌声) (掌声)


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